


Ticking Karma

by Sherrykinss



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Freddy struggling with his fears and insecurities about their relationship, and finally confronting them after suffering sleepless nights
Relationships: Dr. Frederick Chilton/Reader, Dr. Frederick Chilton/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Ticking Karma

After a string of tragedies, Frederick was happy, for once. He was used to his extra daily routines, but it was fine, because he had someone to share the burden. She was patient, kind, selfless. She was a fresh breath of a spring breeze. At first, he savoured every single good memory. He could hardly believe all this good luck was rolling into his life.

As time went by, the little voice in his head came back. He started to question everything. He could hear the ticking karma bomb, threatening to explode any minute. After enduring so much pain and agony, he started to believe that life doesn’t reward you with happiness. He began to anticipate the moment his life will blow apart once again.

The crippling fear of losing her would cross his mind multiple times a day. He played it off as his habit of paranoia. The more he told himself to not think about it, the most his mind would cling onto the smallest thing. He was convinced that she only stayed with him because he was pitiful. Sooner or later, she would find someone better. He didn’t believe any sane person would ever settle for anything less than perfection. How could he possibly measure up to her? He ended up concocting heartbreaking scenarios of her leaving him, which would play over and over in his mind. It started to dominate his days and nights.

Frightened by the voices in his head, he began to have nightmares. They were all so vivid, it was hard for him to tell what was real and a dream. His heart raced as the surroundings in his dream were muted. Her lips moved, but nothing came out. He could hardly make out what she was saying. From the way her eyes bore into his with so much disappointment, he understood. It was his fault.

He woke up with a sharp gasp. His eye took a moment to adjust to his surroundings. Beads of sweat trickled down from his forehead. His sweat drenched pajamas clung desperately onto his skin, just like how he clung to his sanity. His head slowly turned to the side, terrified he would find his bedside empty. He was relieved to find her sleeping serenely curled up near him.

He stared despite the heaviness of his eyelids. The nightmare replayed, and he could recall the sound of her heels clicking with every step. She was walking away, from him, from their love, from his life. The rolling of her suitcase wheels echoed and all he could feel was the insufferable ache in his chest. The agonizing pain was greater than when he got shot in the face.

Exhausted from his previous sleepless nights, he started to question whether he was truly awake. He felt horrible, but he reached over and shook her by the shoulder. She groaned and tried to ignore the shaking, but when Frederick called out to her, she reluctantly woke up.

Her bleary eyes sleepily gazed over at him. At first she thought he accidentally woke her up. When her eyes adjusted and she could see clearly, she found Frederick staring at her with tears glistening from the moonlight. Shocked by his tearful face, she rubbed her eyes awake.

“What’s wrong, Freddy?” She asked, immediately curling up to him.

His lips trembled, and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment for his tears. His silence worried her even more; he had a horrible habit of bottling up his negative emotions.

“Freddy, talk to me. What’s going on? Are you hurt?” She warmly asked.

Her hands cupped his soaked face, she could see the sweat glistening on his forehead. Her thumbs gently wiped his tears away. He wondered if she still loved him, but he was terrified. He feared that if he were to ask, that she would realized that she had mistaken sympathy for love. However, he knew he couldn’t go on like this. He had to put his worries to rest.

“Are you happy?” He asked.

His voice croaked from stifling his cries back. She sighed softly at the heartbreaking sight.

“Of course I am happy, why wouldn’t I be?” She said, then leaned in to tenderly kiss his lips.

He sniffled and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. He noticed her eyes welling as he got a closer look. The tip of her nose was turning red and he felt guilty for making her cry. It wasn’t his intention.

“Are you happy with me?” He asked, clarifying the question.

She kissed his lips again, but deeper, hoping he could feel the love she had for him. Though, the unsureness in his eyes didn’t falter. She leaned in and kissed him again, on the lips, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, just everywhere on his face.

“I love you so much.” She sweetly whispered, after peppering his face with kisses.

“You’re everything to me. I love you so much and I miss you when you’re not around. I love when you laugh at my silly jokes. I love that you make me feel so special, like I’m the only one in the room in a crowd of people. I love that you’re so strong. I am who I am, because of you. You’ve brought out the best parts of me.” She said.

Her reassurance brought more tears to his eyes. His heart swelled with so much happiness. No matter what, he will always ask how he ever got so lucky.

“I can not imagine life without you.” He whispered between sniffles.

“So don’t. Because I will always be here for you. Forever and always. You can’t get rid of me.” She chuckled.

He smiled warmly at her attempt of cracking a joke. He felt much better after talking it out. He really appreciated how patient she was with him. His heart felt more reassured, at least for the rest of the night.

“Thank you. For loving me and for being so patient.” He mumbled.

His heavy eyes closed and he snuggled closer to her chest. She smiled and quietly giggled at how easily he was able to fall back asleep. It would take her awhile to fall asleep, but she was glad he talked to her. She knew that with time, their relationship would be even stronger and Frederick would be able to fully understand how much she loves him.


End file.
